9/4/2023 0 Comments Neww years resolutioners meme![]() ![]() In French, we say, “Plus ca change, plus c’est la même chose”. What is it about the date on the calendar, that magical”1 st January” that turns us into amnesiacs? Have we really forgotten or are we trying to fool ourselves? Fool our listener? And what’s the point of engaging in this ritual, if the outcome is very probably going to be the same as last year? Nothing will change. Even if we tried the same thing last year, only to abandon our plan yet again a little while into the New Year. What is it about a New Year that makes so many of us suddenly believe that, despite the fact we have not done a darn thing about whatever it is that’s been haunting us that we claim to want to change until now, THIS time it will be different? Even if we’ve said the very same New Year Resolutions over and over for several New Year’s eves past. It would be inspiring if it wasn’t so sad and predictable. The list is familiar, and usually terribly predictable. I’ll…” and they proceed to tell me all about yet another plan they are making to turn over a new leaf, to finally conquer some habit they want to change, to finally do their taxes, lose weight, get fit. “This year”, they assure me, “it will be different! I’m determined. Childhood is when you’re allowed to stay up for midnight, adulthood is when you’re forced to.New Year Resolutions! Plus ca change, plus c’est la même chose…Įvery year, I hear the same thing from people all around me, before and after the magical date arrives.May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.My New Year’s resolution is to get better at pretending to know the words to “Auld Lang Syne.”.It’s officially New Year’s Eve, which means you have a few hours to do all the things you resolve not to do next year.I was going to quit my bad habits for New Year’s, but I remembered nobody likes a quitter.My resolution was to read more, so I’m watching a movie with subtitles.2022 was such a blur, I think my resolution was too low.I already have a date for New Year’s Eve - Dec.My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.Why is 'Auld Lang Syne' sung on NYE?: The song's meaning, lyrics New Year's one-liners: NYE diss: Ryan Seacrest advocates against on-air drinking after Andy Cohen comment Why do birds fly south for New Year’s Eve? It’s too far to walk.Why should you sprinkle sugar on your pillow on New Year’s Eve? To start the year with sweet dreams.What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make? To travel more.Why didn’t Pluto throw Earth a birthday party on New Year’s Eve? He forgot to planet.Why is 6 afraid of 9 on New Year’s Eve? Because 9, 8, 7….What is Bill Nye’s real name? William New Year’s Eve.What’s a couch potato’s New Year’s resolution? Cancel their gym membership from last year.Why shouldn’t you shoplift a 2023 calendar? You’ll get 12 months!.What was the spider’s New Year’s resolution? Spend less time on the web.What was the caterpillar’s New Year’s resolution? It wanted to turn over a new leaf. ![]() What did one cow say to the other on New Year’s Eve? Happy Moo Year!.What’s a high-definition camera’s New Year’s resolution? 1080p.Where should you go to practice math on New Year’s Eve? Times Square.What did the little champagne bottle call the big bottle? Pop.Why was the jeweler at the New Year’s Eve party? To help ring in the new year.What did one ghost say to the other on New Year’s Eve? Happy Boo Year!.What’s a dad’s favorite line on New Year’s Eve? I promise not to make any more bad jokes for the rest of the year!.31? He wanted to make a New Year’s toast. Did you hear about the guy who started making breakfast at 11:59 on Dec.Where do herbs celebrate New Year’s? Thyme’s Square.Why is Times Square partying overrated on New Year’s? The organizers drop the ball every year.What do you say to the person who didn’t show up to the New Year’s Eve party? I haven’t seen you since last year!.Why should you raise your left leg before the ball drops at midnight? So you can start the New Year off on the right foot!. ![]() Take the pressure off: Make intentions instead of resolutions for the new year New Year's jokes: Open and closed on New Year's: What to know about banks, post offices, more Kick of 2023 with a laugh by sharing these dazzling jokes to your social media pages, or use one of our New Year's one-liners to caption your "new year, new me" pics. Whether you're ending 2022 with friends, family or by yourself, we all need a little cheer to start off the new year. ![]()
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